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About Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to establish and maintain control over an intimate partner. Some abusive actions may cause physical injury and some are criminal, but all are psychologically damaging to the victim.

While it often appears that abusers are out of control, they are not. Many abusive behaviors are specifically used to enforce rules, or for retaliation or punishment.

Abusive behaviors could include:

• Humiliation
• Anger
• Intimidation
• Manipulation
• Jealousy
• Threats
• Violence

These behaviors are used to accomplish specific goals such as:

• forcing the victim into servitude.
• coercing the victim into catering to them emotionally, physically or sexually.
• manipulating the victim into giving up their education, job, family, friends, money or other resources.
• getting away with behavior such as cheating, alcohol or drug use, and the abusive behaviors themselves.
• trapping the victim in the relationship.

Domestic violence is not the result of:

• alcohol or drugs.
• stress.
• environment.
• an anger management problem.
• anything the victim does.

It is the result of an extremely self-focused point of view, distorted beliefs and values, entitlement thinking, and a desire to be in control – it is learned and is highly resistant to change.

Abusers blame others for their behavior – especially their victims. Statements such as “You deserved it.” or “You made me do it.” are common. No one deserves to be abused and abusers are absolutely responsible for their own beliefs, values, choices and behaviors.

Domestic violence is never the victim’s fault! It begins with the offender and it ends with the offender!

THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!