Teen Health Fair

Speak out.

Teach your children that domestic violence and sexual assault are wrong and things that they can do to be safe.

Make Donations.

Find out how you can help victims by reading How to Help a Victim of Domestic Violence and the Helpful Guide for Family and Friends of Victims of Sexual Assault.

Volunteer Your Time and Talents

As a non-profit organization The Lighthouse appreciates and depends on volunteers to assist in serving our community. We have many different volunteer opportunities. If you are interested in becoming a volunteer you can explore the different areas with the Volunteer Coordinator and choose an area where you feel that your talents and skills will be most useful.

Donate

We appreciate the many items that community members have donated to assist us in serving the women and children that have turned to us for help. Your donations of appliances, cleaning supplies, dishes, furniture, clothing, healthcare needs, and (the list goes on and on) have greatly helped many women and children while in the shelter and assisted many of our families as they began their new lives.

To donate items or make a monetary donation, view our Needs List.

Men play an important role in the fight to end domestic violence

The Lighthouse invites men to volunteer with our program. We have a special need for men willing to speak to the community and to take part in school presentations. Details of these and other volunteer positions can be found in Volunteer Opportunities.

The Lighthouse challenges men to help end domestic violence by men against their partners.

When you hear a man say that he's really going to let her have it this time..., Speak up. Tell him that you talk out problems with your partner. Tell him that physical abuse and degrading language are wrong.

If someone you know is abusing their partner - don't look the other way. Encourage them to get help. Help them to find the resources that are available to them.

If you know someone that is being abused, ask them how you can help them. Tell them about The Lighthouse.

Set an example for your sons and all young men. Don't physically, emotionally, or economically abuse women. Don't use degrading language when referring to women.

If you feel that you may be abusing someone or have been abusive in the past, seek help. Don't blame your actions on drugs, stress, alcohol, or her. Abusive and violent behaviors are learned. There is help available.

How To Help Someone That Is Being Abused

When someone that you know and care about is being battered by their partner or spouse it can leave you feeling frightened, frustrated, sad, and helpless. It is often difficult to understand why your friend may not be willing to leave their partner, please read Barriers to Leaving, but there are some things you can do to help your friend.

You Can

Be supportive, not judgmental

She may have hidden the abuse for a long time because of shame, fear, religious beliefs, love, or hope that things would change. Listen to her if she wants to talk. It may be difficult for you to hear but she needs to be able to tell someone that will believe her. 

Do not blame her for the violence, put her down or ridicule her for not leaving

The violence is not her fault. Her abuser is responsible for his actions. He will do anything in his struggle for power and control. There are many barriers to leaving that she may be facing. She may have stayed because of financial reasons, fear that he wont let her go (an abuser often will threaten to kill her if she leaves), or fear for the safety of the children (he may even threaten to harm or kill the children). Offer her your understanding. 

Tell her about community resources

She may not know what help is available. You can tell her about The Lighthouse and ask her to call. Tell her the staff at The Lighthouse can help her in many ways, including safe shelter, counseling, court advocacy and help understanding legal issues.

Let her know that she is not alone.

Victims are often isolated from family and friends by their abuser. Let her know that you care and don't give up on her even if she hasn't decided to leave him. There are many barriers to leaving that she may be facing. 

Help her discover her options 

Because of the abusers control and her isolation she may not feel that help is available to her. She may have lost hope of getting out of her situation, lost her self- esteem, and forgotten her strengths. Remind of her strengths, talents, and  skills. Help her gain information about her options.

Talk to her about planning for her safety and the safety of her children

You can print a copy of a Safety Plan to share with her. Ask her to call The Lighthouse and talk with the staff about her safety. Give her our number, 251.947.6008 or toll free 1.800.543.5068.

Remember, do not talk to her in  the presence of her abuser about her options or safety issues and help her to  make sure that he will not find any of the information.

A Helpful Guide for Family and Friends of Sexual Assault Victims

Things that can be done to help a family member, significant other or friend who has been sexually assaulted:

Believe - Many victims will not tell anyone about what happened to them because they are afraid no one will believe them. It takes courage to tell about the assault. When you are told about the assault, unconditional belief in the victim is of the utmost importance and can help tremendously in their healing process.

Listen - Convey that you are willing to listen but DO NOT PRESS FOR DETAILS. Let the victim tell you information or details at her own pace.

Be Non-Judgemental - Don't assume or believe that the survivor has any responsibility or blame for the assault. Do not say things like "you should not have gone out with him in the first place , "you shouldn't have been drinking~', "you shouldn't have worn that short, tight dress , "you should have fought harder , "you should have told me immediately , "you should have called the police immediately etc.

Duration - Be prepared to provide emotional support for an indefinite amount of time. Some people think rape victims should be upset about the rape for only a few weeks. This is a heinous personal crime about one's body that can take much longer time to heal.

Behavior Change - Changes in a rape victim's behavior may happen. She may be afraid to be alone, may want to be alone, may withdraw from family and/or friends, may be irritable, may have trouble concentrating/focusing, may cry many tears, etc. Even though her reactions may be painful for you to watch, remember that your understanding and support can be helpful for her.

Counseling - Encourage the victim to seek counseling with someone who is trained in dealing with rape victims. If she will not, place the call yourself to obtain information and advice on how to help her.

Privacy - Respect her/his need for privacy. There may be times she will feel the need to be alone. Do not tell other friends or family. The victim needs to be able to decide who she wants to confide in.

Significant Others - It is very important that you do not say or do anything to imply that the rape was her fault. Let her know that you are on her side, that you will stand by her, and that you still love/care for her. Holding her or giving hugs may help.

Responsibility - Make sure she understands she should not in anyway feel guilty. THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY FOR RAPE LIES WITH THE RAPIST

Control - When someone is raped they can feel that they have lost all control over every aspect of their lives. You can help her by allowing her to regain control (i.e., let her decide who to tell, let her decide who she wants to be with or let her be alone if that is her decision, let her decide how much she wants to tell you in detail and when, etc.).

DO Not Make Threats Against The Perpetrator - The feeling of wanting to hurt the perpetrator in some way is normal but will not help the victim and may actually hinder her healing process. She may refuse to talk to you about the assault for fear she will be upsetting/hurting you.

Male Victims - Be as supportive and empathic as you would if the victim was a female. Males may find it even more difficult to discuss.